Making the best of what isn't

I recently came across this quote:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

When I say that my family and I are blessed, I believe it with all my heart. But that doesn't mean that things are perfect, far from it actually. For a while now, there have have been "things" that Brett and I have wanted, changes we have wanted to make, and things we wanted to do differently. Some of those "things" have come to fruition and some of them haven't. It's frustrating. Sometimes it just seems as though life isn't what you want it to be and it's easy to get caught up in what isn't and forget about what is. Be it family, friends, jobs, time, money, whatever, I firmly believe that God has a plan in mind, but I have to be honest, there are times I disagree with his plan or don't understand it.

One of the biggest "things" that I have wanted is to be able to be at home with our boys. After Declan was born, I was supposed to go back to work in January, but knew very quickly that I didn't think I could do it. Well, I knew I could do it, I just knew I didn't want to. Brett quickly figured a way for us to make it work and because of him working so hard each and every day I got to stay home and watch our boys grow into brothers for 10 whole months. That is pretty amazing! Unfortunately, that time has come to an end and I will be going back to work soon. This is part of the plan that I disagree with and don't understand, in case You are reading. I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom and I could have never imagined loving it as much as I do.

Going back to work is not the only thing that doesn't seem to be working out like we intended. We have been living in what seems like a temporary state for a while waiting for a change. It has frustrated us and got us down. There have been days that I don't think we enjoyed to the fullest because we wished things were different. I regret that.That quote I mentioned at the beginning spoke to me. It was like a slap in the face that whether things are up or down, this is the life we are given and it is up to us to revel in its beauty each and every day even if that means making the best of a situation that we wish was different. I know this post has been vague because many of the "things" that Brett ave been hoping and praying for personal, but the message is universal. It's time to stop wishing for what isn't and enjoying what is. Because "what is" is really pretty special!

One Year

One whole year has passed since I last posted. It really is a complete coincidence that I sat down today to write and noted that it has been exactly one year. While it seems like little time has passed since I filled this page on thoughts abbout being a mom, so many things in our lives have happened.

We welcomed the birth of our second little boy on October 9. He has filled our hearts to the point that I just don't know if there is room for any more love. And every time I think that, I look at our two little men and I smile and my heart gets fuller.

Declan Anthony

On February 2, we said good bye to our "very special in his own way" dog, Tucker. He had a bad accident and it was the best for everyone that Tucker go to a place that he could finally rest and get some peace.  What a heartbreak we felt saying good bye to our buddy!

While those have been the biggest ups and downs of the past year, so many memories have been made. As a family we have grown and learned more about each other. We have learned to love in different ways, we have learned to look to the future when things in the present get us down. Mostly though we have learned that we have each tother. It sounds so cliche, but I am caught in these moments that seem surreal. I have an almost out of body experinec and it's as if I am an outsider looking in. Watching my husband be a daddy and watching these two little boys play and thinking they simply can't be mine. I couldn't be that lucky. But I am. I am blessed beyond admission and that really is all I can ask for.

A very tired family after a very fun day!

We are in the midst once again of some changes in our house. Blogging has been a wondeful outlet and record holder for me and I hope that perhaps over the next few weeks and months, I can manage to put away some quiet time to reflect on these blessings we have been given because they are so great!

Owen's Visit to Camp Gammy and Pap

I recently wrote about my first night away from Owen. It was a much needed getaway for Brett and I to reconnect and enjoy each other's company without the tug of our little man. Well, we have now had an extended "getaway" except he's the one who has "gotten away". My sweet little baby is spending a week "on his own" with my parents - Camp Gammy and Pap as I like to call it. He is having a blast and much to our dismay, we don't think he misses us or needs us as much as we like to think he does.

It took me a few days to get used to him being gone. I was still feeling that little pit of anxiety that I had to get everything done immediately because at any time he could wake up from his nap and my attention to chores, etc. would be lost. I have used this time wisely though. I have napped a lot, resting this poor pregnant body has been a must. I have organized our house and decluttered lots of stuff that needed to go. I have grocery shopped and prepared meals and feel organized and good about what I'm feeding my family. But most of all, I have dedicated some time to two people that I have neglected a little bit.

Brett and I spent the weekend almost as if we were "young and carefree" again. We went to the movies and saw the Dark Night, we went shopping, we went out to breakfast, we sat on our patio and chatted for a while. We basically just enjoyed being with each other. I wrote before how important it is to me for us to stay connected as a couple. It is something I have struggled with since the day Owen came home from the hospital. He demands a lot of time and attention, but in order for us to be good parents, we have to be good partners. This last weekend and these evenings this week, we have had a chance to remember what it's like to be "just us" and it has been wonderful.

The other person I have been able to spend some time with is this little boy growing inside me. I remember being pregnant with Owen and loving moments when I was completely present and feeling him move. It was like he was almost here already and I was getting to know him. I haven't done a lot of that this time around. As I've stated many times, Owen requires a lot of attention. Sitting with my hands on my belly and talking to BB2 doesn't happen a whole lot. I try to do this at night, but I'm so tired. Without Owen around, I have been able to connect with the baby and feel so much closer to him than I did before. I'm starting to visualize what it's really going to be like with a new little guy here. I've talked to him so much more this week and began doing some practical things to prepare for his arrival as well. It's amazing just how different it is the second time around, but we just now decided some details of his room and purchased a crib. I can't wait to meet him and have him be a part of our amazing family.

I hope this isn't misconstrued by any means. I miss Owen more than I can describe. Every time I watch a video sent by my mom or dad or see a picture of something fun they are doing, I want to wrap my arms around him and get one of his wide mouth kisses. I'm so thankful that he has family that he loves so much and that love him so much that being away from us is perfectly OK. I think we are both enjoying our time apart, but I can't wait to hear that little shriek when I pick him up!

Our First Night Away

This was a first. Brett and I were able to get away for a night without our baby boy! On first trip to PA this summer my mom arranged for us to spend the night at her friend's condo at a ski resort a little over an hour away. She didn't have to ask us twice. While I don't love leaving the little guy, I knew he was in good hands and this would give Brett and I some much needed quiet time together. We left early on Thursday morning and drove straight to the condo just to make sure we knew where we were going. Then we decided to be a little adventurous and drive even farther "out there" to visit Falling Water, the amazing Frank Lloyd Wright house. We stopped at a local restaurant on the way for lunch, the See Mor Cafe where we stuffed our face with home cooked meatloaf, chicken pin wheel, and blue berry pie. The house was amazing. It fascinates me that there are people with such vision, who could look at a piece of landscape and imagine what could be. We went out to dinner that night and enjoyed lingering even after we were done eating.

We don't get out together a lot any more. Brett works long hours, our weekends are usually full of commitments and babysitters are to come by. So this truly was a wonderful getaway. As much as I love spending time with Owen and even more spending time with Brett and Owen as a family, it is so important to me that Brett and I maintain our relationship. I read a quote once that said the greatest gift you can give your children is to love their mother/ father. So true! Brett and I laugh that our hope is that we can embarrass our kids long into their teen years by showing each other more affection that kids want to see out of their parents. Kids learn what a marriage is from their role models. I want to be a good relationship role model for our kids. I want them to learn respect and communication from us. I want them to learn how to laugh with their partner and how to have fun doing just about anything. I want to teach them that disagreeing is part of being married but with disagreeing comes compromise and the ability to see things form another person's perspective.

My dream is to one day be sitting at a large family dinner and look around and see our kids looking into their partners face the way I look at Brett and the way he looks at me.

Summer Fun

This summer is flying by and I think it's because we have just been so busy. Not in a bad way, but in a "taking advantage of being home and having a very active one year old way".  After spending the first week in PA, I got right back into stay at home mama mode - my favorite!!!! Owen and I have been playing in the back yard from morning until night, swimming, swinging, digging in the dirt. You name it and we've done it. We've also had lots of play dates with friends from work and friends in the neighborhood. Here's a little glimpse:

Our little artist

The baby pool at Gammy and Pap's house in PA

A little uncle love

Too cute!

We turned the pool into a ball pit - SUPER fun!

Brookfield Zoo with Camille and Isabella

Reading to Tucker

Owen's1st Monkey Themed Birthday Party

We planned Owen's party for the day after his actual birthday, May 12. All week the weather did not look like it would be in our favor and my plans of our backyard being host to a beautiful spring party seemed lost. When we woke Saturday morning, it was pouring. The patio was soaked, the grass was wet...but, no need to worry. The boys all set to work setting up tents and planning out the garage for the food and a table or two. While it wasn't the beautiful sunny day I had hoped for, the party was perfect and a lot of work and love went into every last detail.

I absolutely loved the monkey theme as soon Brett and I settled on it. I didn't want to stick to sock monkeys, Julius or Curious George so we went with a little bit of everything and centered it on our blue and yellow colors. Things couldn't have turned out better.

I worked with an amazing seller on Etsy to create the PERFECT t shirt for Owen to wear on his big day (he wore it to the zoo also since I wanted to get more than one wear out of it). Missy from Tiger Chic Designs matched our colors perfectly, and designed the perfect party hat for the monkey to wear!

Other than that, we pretty much did everything ourselves. The favors included a few things from the Target dollar bin (Paul Frank key chains, notepads and pencils; monkey water squirters and masks), some things from Oriental Trading (beach balls with monkeys, monkey tattoos) and a package of animal crackers (not monkeys, but close). I got the treat bags from the clearance bin at Party City (they were Curious George and I got 12 for $1). Each bag was tied with blue curling ribbon and had a monkey that I made from construction paper templates and glued together with a thank you note from Owen on the back.

As for food, it could not have been more simple and perfect! We rented a hot dog steamer = AWESOME! Steamed hot dogs and buns and all the toppings for both a Chicago dog and a 'Shorty's with Everything" (Shorty's is a local hot dog shop in Washington, PA). My parents also brought a nacho cheese pump. I think the nachos were the biggest hit. In additional we had yummy pasta salad, a veggie tray and a great display of fruit skewers. On the tables were buckets full of blue and yellow candy (sixlets, gummy bananas, and blue raspberry rings) and well as blue and yellow chocolate covered pretzels that Brett and I hand dipped.

What I was most proud of was the cake and the cupcakes. I wanted cupcake toppers but didn't want the expense of ordering them, so I set out to make them. They turned out to be slightly time consuming trying to figure out the best way to do it, but after I figured it all out, they were very easy. They looked adorable atop yellow cupcakes in blue and white striped papers.

The cake was in the shape of a monkey! I found the design on Parenting.com and it turned out to be so much easier than I thought. I made it Friday night and took so much time to make sure it was perfect. Everyone commented how cute it was and I was feeling pretty proud. When it came time to sing, I carried it to Owen's seat and as I fixed the tray on his highchair, I bumped the cake and it fell to the ground!!!! Cool, calm and collected, I pieced it back together and 30 seconds later Owen dove into it.

Because of the weather, we didn't have much in the way of decorations. I originally planned to hang tissue paper pom poms around the yard, but when the threat of rain appeared in the forecast, I decided it wasn't worth the time. Basically the colors from the table cloths, other things I have already mentioned served as the decorations. We also had a 5 foot inflatable monkey gracing us with his presence.

Honestly, the day could not have been better! Owen was blessed with a birthday party full of lots of friends and family that mean a lot to him and to Brett and I. That was my one simple goal. Our family truly is blessed and it really showed on this special day.

Happy Birthday to our baby boy!!!

A 1st Birthday Celebration at the Zoo!

It's hard to believe that Owen's first birthday has come and gone. It has taken me this past week and then some to recover both mentally (my baby is 1!) and physically (we had an eventful weekend).

The birthday boy in his super cute birthday tee!

His birthday fell on a Friday and this little boy was blessed with family that drove from all over and took time off of work to spend it with him. My parents and brothers arrived on Thursday night and on Friday we were all off to the Brookfield Zoo, along with Brett's stepmom and sister and Owen's amazing babysitter, her two kiddos and an extra friend. The weather could not have been more perfect and the zoo was not overly crowded, short of a small mad rush of kids on field trips at the beginning. Owen was a trooper and powered through nap time although he did fall asleep for a short time.
Brett and I have always loved zoos. We once spent an 8 hour day at Brookfield, just the two of us, enjoying watching the animals. I think Owen has inherited this love of animals as he was mesmerized by anything that was moving. Those sleeping furry things did nothing for him, but as soon as they moved, he was in awe. he loved the aquarium building; standing in the glass and watching the fish was his absolute favorite. The highlight of the day was when he was standing in the underground dolphin observation area and a dolphin swam by very quickly. It startled him and his reaction was priceless!

What a wonderful day to spend celebrating with our little boy!


The perfect spot for our little monkey to see the real monkies!



Owen (getting sleepy) and Dad with a very observant gorilla in the background.





Daddy making Owen his first Mold A Rama! This was special for Brett because he rmemebrs making these as a kid when visiting Brookfield. Owen's first Mold A Rama was a gorilla (they didn't have a monkey) and then Grandma Kate bought him a dolphin too!



A very sleep 1 year old

Mesmorized by the fish

Owen with Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Clancy #2!

Happy Birthday, Owen!

Fall Fun

Boy does time fly when you're having fun. And, boy, are we having fun being parents to this little boy.

Two weekends, we made a family trip to The Morton Arboretum. We had always wanted to see what the arboretum had to offer, but their admission price is a little steep for what were thought were just walking trails through a  bunch of trees. Thanks to their partnership with Groupon, I was able to get us in for less than half the price. While I still think their normal admission is a little steep, especially for large families, it was definitely more than walking trails though trees. Since we had no idea where to go and were struggling to read the map (yes, we are both beyond college educated), we went to the Children's Garden first. As you can imagine, Owen is a little too young for most of the activities but his parents sure had fun walking thorough imagining what he'll be like in the place next summer.

After the children's Garden, we headed down the Conifer Walk and saw some pretty amazing trees. this also leads into most of the "Nature Unframed" pieces. The pieces were interesting to say the least. I admire the artists for their imagination.

Lichen It!

By this point in the day, we had decided that we really liked this place, enough so the we ended purchasing a family membership. We're looking forward to going back this October with Owen in his costume and painting a pumpkin and this December for breakfast with Santa and a sled dog demonstration. The Arboretum also offers snow shoe rental which sounds like a fun day date for us! Overall, the Arboretum is beautiful. It is meticulously cared for and we are so excited to spend time there enjoying nature and the peace and quiet.

This past weekend, we visited Kuiper's Farm with the intention of picking apples and bringing home a family pumpkin. We had visited this Farm years ago and were excited to go back...until we got there. Much of the apple side has been redone and it is much more commercial than it was before. The line to pick apples was ridiculous and the line to pay for bags of apples was just as long. We did buy a bag of apples and took a few pictures. unfortunately, we didn't plan to spend so much time waiting in the line and by the time we got to the pumpkin side, Owen was not in the mood to be his usual smiling self. we're learning!

What have we been up to?

We have had an exciting past few weeks. I'll try my best to catch up...

• Scotty went to college! On August 20, Brett, Owen, the puppies and I packed up and drove to Dayton to meet my fam and move Scotty in to the University of Dayton. We stayed at an awesome hotel, The Drury Inn, and had a blast relaxing in our suite and enjoying their free food. On Sunday, we said good bye to the baby of the family. We know he'll do great things!

The fam in Dayton. (love the use of a stranger's car as a "tripod")

• I turned  the big 3-0! The Sunday that we left Dayton also happened to be my birthday. It was wonderful getting to spend it with my family, even if most of it was in the car and we ate at KFC.
• We went to Washington! When we left Dayton, Brett drove home, but the rest of the Clancy crew drove back to Washington for 2 weeks. It was wonderful getting away for a while and watching Owen spend so much time with my parents. It was also nice being there for so long because I got to visit with people that I usually don't get to see.

A visit from our good friends Sarah and Aunt Zoe!
I think Owen and Shane will be good buddies when they're older!

Lunch at Bahama Breeze with Gammy.

Still lovin' the Moby!

Getting ready for the Steelers preseason game with Grandpap.

Owen and his buddy Bryce.
Bryce is my cousin's son so they are 3rd cousins? 

"I wanna be big like you, Uncle Ben!"

• Owen rolled over! On Thursday, August 26, Owen and I were playing at my parents house. He was on his back playing with his feet and before I knew he flipped himself over. I don't know if he was proud or surprised. He hasn't done it since.

• Owen sits in his high chair. It will be another month before Owen has a taste of something other than my delicious milk, but we decided it was time he join us at the table. He loves it!

• Happy 6 year Anniversary! September 10 was our 6 year anniversary. We celebrated with a FABULOUS night out and a babysitter! Is it bad that for a second I forgot about Owen and almost thought we were carefree with no responsibilities again? It didn't last long :-) We had a yummy dinner at Maggiano's and then went to Tasting Divine for a wine flight. Let's just say I can't drink like I used to!

Hard to see in the picture, but Owen
is wearing a handmade onesie that says "Happy Anniversary".  How sweet of him to remember!

• Souper Sunday Week 1 2011! Last Sunday was the kickoff of the NFL season and the start of what we like to call "Souper Sunday" or Dirtball Sunday in the Clancy household. We started off with our favorite soup - The Clancy's Crock Po Potato Soup - and of course had Buffalo Chicken Dip. It was  good start to the season for Chicago. As for the Steelers, not so much. 
• Yesterday Owen and I went to Whole Foods. We returned to find that one or both of the dogs had eaten a box of raisins. (my money was on Lucy) After a call to the vet, we all went to the Glen Ellyn Animal hospital where Lucy and Tucker were given an injection to induce vomiting. After the evidence that came out proved that it was Lucy, she was given charcoal to rid herself of any of the toxic raisins that remained. Love our crazy dogs!