Making the best of what isn't

I recently came across this quote:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

When I say that my family and I are blessed, I believe it with all my heart. But that doesn't mean that things are perfect, far from it actually. For a while now, there have have been "things" that Brett and I have wanted, changes we have wanted to make, and things we wanted to do differently. Some of those "things" have come to fruition and some of them haven't. It's frustrating. Sometimes it just seems as though life isn't what you want it to be and it's easy to get caught up in what isn't and forget about what is. Be it family, friends, jobs, time, money, whatever, I firmly believe that God has a plan in mind, but I have to be honest, there are times I disagree with his plan or don't understand it.

One of the biggest "things" that I have wanted is to be able to be at home with our boys. After Declan was born, I was supposed to go back to work in January, but knew very quickly that I didn't think I could do it. Well, I knew I could do it, I just knew I didn't want to. Brett quickly figured a way for us to make it work and because of him working so hard each and every day I got to stay home and watch our boys grow into brothers for 10 whole months. That is pretty amazing! Unfortunately, that time has come to an end and I will be going back to work soon. This is part of the plan that I disagree with and don't understand, in case You are reading. I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom and I could have never imagined loving it as much as I do.

Going back to work is not the only thing that doesn't seem to be working out like we intended. We have been living in what seems like a temporary state for a while waiting for a change. It has frustrated us and got us down. There have been days that I don't think we enjoyed to the fullest because we wished things were different. I regret that.That quote I mentioned at the beginning spoke to me. It was like a slap in the face that whether things are up or down, this is the life we are given and it is up to us to revel in its beauty each and every day even if that means making the best of a situation that we wish was different. I know this post has been vague because many of the "things" that Brett ave been hoping and praying for personal, but the message is universal. It's time to stop wishing for what isn't and enjoying what is. Because "what is" is really pretty special!

One Year

One whole year has passed since I last posted. It really is a complete coincidence that I sat down today to write and noted that it has been exactly one year. While it seems like little time has passed since I filled this page on thoughts abbout being a mom, so many things in our lives have happened.

We welcomed the birth of our second little boy on October 9. He has filled our hearts to the point that I just don't know if there is room for any more love. And every time I think that, I look at our two little men and I smile and my heart gets fuller.

Declan Anthony

On February 2, we said good bye to our "very special in his own way" dog, Tucker. He had a bad accident and it was the best for everyone that Tucker go to a place that he could finally rest and get some peace.  What a heartbreak we felt saying good bye to our buddy!

While those have been the biggest ups and downs of the past year, so many memories have been made. As a family we have grown and learned more about each other. We have learned to love in different ways, we have learned to look to the future when things in the present get us down. Mostly though we have learned that we have each tother. It sounds so cliche, but I am caught in these moments that seem surreal. I have an almost out of body experinec and it's as if I am an outsider looking in. Watching my husband be a daddy and watching these two little boys play and thinking they simply can't be mine. I couldn't be that lucky. But I am. I am blessed beyond admission and that really is all I can ask for.

A very tired family after a very fun day!

We are in the midst once again of some changes in our house. Blogging has been a wondeful outlet and record holder for me and I hope that perhaps over the next few weeks and months, I can manage to put away some quiet time to reflect on these blessings we have been given because they are so great!