Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
When I say that my family and I are blessed, I believe it with all my heart. But that doesn't mean that things are perfect, far from it actually. For a while now, there have have been "things" that Brett and I have wanted, changes we have wanted to make, and things we wanted to do differently. Some of those "things" have come to fruition and some of them haven't. It's frustrating. Sometimes it just seems as though life isn't what you want it to be and it's easy to get caught up in what isn't and forget about what is. Be it family, friends, jobs, time, money, whatever, I firmly believe that God has a plan in mind, but I have to be honest, there are times I disagree with his plan or don't understand it.
One of the biggest "things" that I have wanted is to be able to be at home with our boys. After Declan was born, I was supposed to go back to work in January, but knew very quickly that I didn't think I could do it. Well, I knew I could do it, I just knew I didn't want to. Brett quickly figured a way for us to make it work and because of him working so hard each and every day I got to stay home and watch our boys grow into brothers for 10 whole months. That is pretty amazing! Unfortunately, that time has come to an end and I will be going back to work soon. This is part of the plan that I disagree with and don't understand, in case You are reading. I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom and I could have never imagined loving it as much as I do.
Going back to work is not the only thing that doesn't seem to be working out like we intended. We have been living in what seems like a temporary state for a while waiting for a change. It has frustrated us and got us down. There have been days that I don't think we enjoyed to the fullest because we wished things were different. I regret that.That quote I mentioned at the beginning spoke to me. It was like a slap in the face that whether things are up or down, this is the life we are given and it is up to us to revel in its beauty each and every day even if that means making the best of a situation that we wish was different. I know this post has been vague because many of the "things" that Brett ave been hoping and praying for personal, but the message is universal. It's time to stop wishing for what isn't and enjoying what is. Because "what is" is really pretty special!
1 comment:
I understand wanting "things" but I am in a very different part of my life (70, retired, empty nest) and I can tell you for certain it's not "things" that make you happy. We are, and our friends also, at the stage in our lives when we're trying to downsize EVERTHING. If you were to admire something in my house, I'd probably say "take it home with you." Not everything, of course, but a lot of things. Sometimes I realize I'm buying something just to buy.....and I'm not a compulsive shopper, but if you've been wandering the mall for a while, you think you should bring something home to show for your time. I happen to like to cook, so I have a lot of gadgets and small appliances, but I agree with Alton Brown, of the food channel---if you buy it, make sure it can do more than ONE job, or it's not worth the space to store it. Also, the older you get, the more you seem to learn about saving money and making do.
I have always been an occasional thrift store shopper, but I wish I'd been more into it at an earlier age. There is so much available second hand, you can save a lot of money for other things by checking out the second hand market FIRST. Or you can make something from scratch or remake something old into new, or repair before you throw away and buy new. While I am fortunate that I don't have to make every penny count, as some do, I like being able to help my only grandchild to finance her education and reading blogs that others write about being frugal helps me keep my head on straight about what I "need" and what I don't.
I assume you and your husband have counted up the costs of working vs. not working--not just child care, but dinners that are "take out" because you're too tired to cook, and the extra clothes and shoes you need to keep up with your job, as well as transportation, wear and tear on your vehicle, etc. Sometimes it can come pretty close to your total salary when you add everything together. My kids were born in the 60's and I was able to stay home with them until the younger was 10, and then still have an almost 30 year career after that! Of course, fewer women worked in those days, but it was nice to be able to be home that long with them.
Take a deep breath a few times a day and tell yourself how lucky you are to enjoy raising your boys. You don't need the greatest and best toys, cars, computers, etc. to enjoy your family. And your house will be easier to set straight when there are fewer things in it! Clutter slows down cleaning. I'm trying to get rid of clutter but it's nearly a full time job for me.
Enjoyed reading your blog.
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