While Brett and I only had to try for six months for this sweet baby, each of those months that we weren't pregnant brought tears to my eyes. We in no way went through any ordeal to conceive like so many people. I say prayers for those people every day because to me, being pregnant is the greatest gift I have ever received.
My real confession should be that while I love being pregnant, I don't think I am good at it. I am sure I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. I probably don't drink enough water. I certainly don't exercise like I should. I can become obsessed with reading online what horrible thing could happen to our baby. But, I don't think I could love this baby inside of me any more. This sweet thing has a personality of its own already. Today in the middle of teaching, I grabbed my side in pain. It was not an "Oh my gosh something is happening" kind of pain, it was a "please for the love of all that is good stop poking me from the inside" kind of pain. It seriously hurt and I loved every second of it because it is one more thing that makes this baby a person, a real live living human being.
For the first several weeks of being pregnant, I simply loved being pregnant. Then I was scared. Not about the baby but because I was afraid that I wasn't sure I actually wanted a baby. I thought maybe I had gotten caught up in wanting to be pregnant that I had ignored the fact that pregnancy only lasts for 9 months and a baby forever. Those fears have certainly been calmed and I can't wait for this baby to arrive. I can't wait to hold BB in my arms as I see that proud Papa look on Brett's face.
Sweet baby, we love you and can't wait for you to get here...
2 comments:
awww, your post made me tear up!! :) only a little bit of time left to go!
I am sure you are a great baby oven and are doing an awesome job!
Your confessions remind me a lot of my wife's own feelings of both our/her pregnancies. It is a time of so much joy and nerves smashed together. ENJOY IT!
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